Sexuality and Sensuality... Same Difference?

 Hey, thanks for stopping by.

 I have a question for you: Sexuality vs. Sensuality...are they the same or are they different? What does each of these really mean?

Quick, you have 5 seconds...

Good answer!🤭 I can't hear you from where I am, but I'm sure it was better than the one in the image above.

If you said that they are different concepts, then you'd be right. Although sexuality and sensuality are related, they are not the same thing. If you're anything like me, then you can imagine my shock when I realized the difference a few years ago. Up until my mid-20s, I used to think sensuality was "refined" sexuality—a quieter, more mature, more elegant form of raw sexual desire.

Not entirely true.

While it doesn't hit the mark, I can see why I thought so, and why others continue to do the same. Sexuality and sensuality are often conflated with each other—in the media (especially in the media), in conversation, in dating, you name it. It does not help that I live in America, where nuance is often trampled out for the sake of hype and marketability. 

Who's gonna tell 'em? [Source]

Unfortunately, this misconception leads to even more confusion, and that greatly limits personal discovery. Yes, the two are interconnected, but sensuality itself is about much more than fucking or being "fuckable." It's about connecting with our entire sensory system; finding joy and pleasure in our bodies and how it connects to the world around us. To sum up Psychology Today:

"Sensuality is a way of engaging in pleasure, which may include being in nature, listening to music, wearing perfume, eating chocolate, enjoying delicious meals, sunbathing, taking baths or showers, getting massages, nurturing one’s body with body lotion, dancing, reading sensual books, dressing beautifully, kissing, hugging, and lovemaking.

And again:

...paying attention with all of our senses...is the root of true sensuality." [1]

So sensuality is about much more than sex. Yes, it involves listening, and quietness to some degree, but ultimately it's about how you engage with the world around you, with the things and people that bring you joy and pleasure—using your senses as a bridge. Sex is definitely one way you can achieve this, but it isn't the only way. And you don't have to be naked or wear lingerie to do it!

It feels as if we are collectively losing grip on this truth somehow. Hence why I've started this blog: I want to shout it from the rooftops and whisper it behind closed doors. It's time for a shift in thinking, feeling, and connecting!

I would love to hear people's experiences and opinions on this. How does your culture perceive sensuality? What changes would you like to see? Who are some prominent cultural figures in your local sensual wellness space, if at all? Let's talk! 🙂

Yours,

Ruby