Unveiling Passion - Finding What Works for You

Whether you choose to indulge or abstain, physical pleasure is a foundational aspect of our lives, and passion is the mortar that keeps it all together, helping us build relationships and find meaning in the world around us.

Passion is a very visceral response to what stimulates our minds and bodies. Contrary to what some people say, it absolutely CAN be cultivated!

Single? No problem. You can still implement these tips to cultivate a passionate relationship with yourself. It starts within, after all.

Passion is the secret ingredient.

Solo Love

Your pleasure is up to you, first and foremost. Find what turns you on. Explore your body at your own pace. Watch yourself undress in the mirror, do yoga completely nude, touch yourself without judging yourself! The more you engage with yourself, the more you will discover what sparks your desire. If you notice any mental blocks, journal them and consider talking to a mental health professional to help you unpack those repressed thoughts and emotions.

Partner Play

Explore your partner's body. Intimacy isn't the goal, it's the process. Every time you connect with your partner—in bed or otherwise—be mindful of how they react to you, your voice, your touch, your gaze... What sends them over the edge? What makes them shut down? Discuss these openly with your partner in a setting that makes you both feel comfortable.

The Power of Distance

We are often encouraged to think of distance as a relationship-breaker, but it can absolutely be used to strengthen your emotional bonds. When your partner is away, notice what our body and mind does. What do you remember about them, what do you crave? If you or your partner travels often, up the ante remotely—mail each other raunchy letters, have phone sex, send private "flicks" of yourself in different scenarios...the possibilities are endless. You can also do these even when you are at work or running errands; they will be sure to spice up your day, just remember to only do what makes you comfortable. Distance is the ultimate tease, and it makes your reunion all the better. 😉

Learn Together, Grow Together

It is no secret that many coworkers and colleagues often get into cahoots with each other...why do you think that is? It's not merely because they spend a lot of time in each other's company, it's also because many of them work on a project together or take the same class—it adds another dimension to their relationship, and to their passion. You can also do the same in your personal relationships: whether it is a romantic salsa class, an erotic tantra workshop, or even a cooking course, you and your partner can learn a lot about yourselves and each other when you're working on a common goal.

 

Sensory play is a great way to build passion and self-awareness.

Sensory Play

One of the most exciting ways you can cultivate passion in a relationship is by engaging in sensory play. Tickling, licking, biting, spanking, whispering, ice, wax play...the possibilities are endless. Even a harmless game like hide-and-seek can add loads 😏 of excitement to a play session.

As you gain each other's trust, you can also begin to indulge in forms of sensory deprivation, like blindfolds. Masking one of your senses often causes you to become hyper-aware of your other senses. Like in the case of blindfolds, where the user is deprived of their sight, but becomes deeply attuned to their hearing and sense of touch.

Primal Nature

Connecting with nature is a great way to discover your inner, most fundamental desires. Not only does it encourage your body to relax and reset itself from hectic modern life, but allows you the chance to connect with your partner without distractions. There is a reason why "Sex on the Beach" is an iconic trope—it links our sensual desires with the world around us, uncensored, uninhibited, unbothered. And it feels great!🙊

Yes, local laws are a bitch to deal with and you have to be alert and time it just right, but even if you do not have sex, you can still connect with nature by taking walks, hiking, swimming, gardening, and even lounging around on a park bench. It's such a beautiful feeling connecting with a lover under the stars, in the morning sunlight, or beneath a lush canopy of trees. Note: If you wish to go somewhere that truly gives no fucks about sex outdoors, then research and plan for your next vacation (I'm currently looking into Guadalajara)!

 

How do you rekindle passion in your relationships? What are your tried-and-true methods? What does your experience look like?

Ruby 💗